Not having a clue how the stock market
works and figuring a hundred bucks a months in the ol' saving
account isn't going to have us on easy street by the time we're
in our mid-60's, we've decided to try the "lottery retirement
I know, I know. Might as well burn
those dollars. Same result and we might actually get some warmth out
of them during the winter months. But our plan basically calls for $4
a week on Megamillions (because if I win something, I want it to be
life changing; forget that piddly $500 scratch off win).
Yes, times can be hard and there are
days when every last dollar counts, but if during a regular stretch
of time you can't afford $4 a week for a wing and prayer, you've
got far more problems than worrying about a retirement that will
This decision came after years of work
and realizing we were simply not born into lives that would, in any
way, lead to wealth. I have to laugh whenever I see some financial
advisor say you should have $250,000 in your savings by the time
you're 40 and way more than a million by the time you retire at 65.
How can you save an amount you never
expect to make? And what if by 40 you've made exactly $250,000? Should you have saved all that and lived under a bridge and ate
exclusively at soup kitchens?
I will admit I no longer care about
working hard and earning it. I've earned a lot of things, most of
them bad, but when it comes to money, I just want to find it under a
rock and never hear that anybody's looking for it.
Which is basically what the lottery is.
The odds are impossible, but somebody has to eventually lift that
rock and find that money. Might as well be me, the wife or a very
generous relative. All I really want is enough to pay off the house (save about $150,000 in interest) and always have a place to live.
But you don't have to win the lottery
to luck into a lot of money for doing nothing. Forbes recently did a
story about the sports world's best-paid benchwarmers and it just
goes to show how out of whack the world is.
For every LeBron James who makes the
team he plays for hundreds of millions (not to mention the money his
presence brings to the city he plays in), there is, well, let's
look at some on the list.
Number one is Chase Utley who plays for
baseball's Philadelphia Phillies. He has barely played since 2010
due to various injuries but still made $15 million last year. Utley
could be given a pass as he was an all star player for several years
before injuries started to work on him, Still, $15 million is pretty
good for hanging out at the ball park.
Number two is somebody named Rashard
Lewis of the NBA's Miami Heat. He played about 15 minutes total
last year (only a slight exaggeration) and made $13.7 million for it.
And collected a championship ring.
Most of the players on the list I've
never heard of, but Kris Humphries did come in at number 4, earning $12 million for playing 12 minutes a game for the NBA Brooklyn Nets.
You don't have to scratch your head.
I'll refresh your memory of who he is. Humphries is the 7-foot
galoot who married Kim Kardashian for all two and a half months a
year or two ago. And, if I remember correctly, sued her for what you
sue somebody for during a divorce. I guess $12,000 a minute for each
game just wasn't enough to get by.
You can laugh all you want at people
playing the lottery, but stop and think about bow much we reward
people for doing things like putting a ball through a hoop or hitting
it really far with a wooden stick. Talents that contribute absolutely
nothing to the world, but we practically worship them.
On second thought, don't think about
it. You'll just depress yourself. Now, got any lucky numbers for
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