It's the time of the year when the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) releases data about how fat we are as a nation. I always like to bring this up when the data is mentioned because I truly believe that if we could all lose weight, we'd all feel healthier and get along better.

And if the latest numbers are to be believed (I've never been asked my weight; how about you?), Tennessee is finally doing its part to help us be a healthier nation.

After years of being in the top five of fattest states, this year Tennessee fell into a 15th place tie with Virginia, with each state having 29.2 percent of its residents being officially obese. Obese is the size where you've gotten so big, people can't bring themselves to look at you when you're having a conversation.

If I'm recalling the numbers right, the worst Tennessee ranked was in the top three with an obesity rate of around 31 percent. Yeah, a two percent drop might not seem like much, but at least it's a drop. The number had been going up for years.

For the record, the fattest state is Mississippi, with 34.9 percent of its citizens considered obese. Colorado is the least fat at 20.7 percent. A few years ago, the top number was 30 percent and the bottom was 17 percent. So, yeah, from that viewpoint, things do seem to be getting worse.

So, how did Tennessee manage to lose enough weight to fall outside of the top 10? I guess it depends on how they survey people's weight. Like I said above, I've never been surveyed. Does that mean they ask the same people every year, or it's just a random sample and they've never gotten to me?

If it's the same people, did they all just go on a diet? If it's random, did they finally call up a bunch of skinny people? Do they survey doctors about their patients? Can doctors let out that kind of information? Did they get a hold of a bunch of 375 pounders who said, "No, seriously. I weigh 175?"

Well, here's what the CDC said about their info gathering system: "CDC has modernized the methodology for BRFSS this year, setting a new baseline for comparisons.  The updated approach, incorporating cell phones and using an iterative proportional fitting data weighting method, means rates are even more reflective of each states' population, but that the rates were determined in a different way than in the past, making direct change comparisons difficult.  The full data set can be found at: http://www.cdc.gov/brfss/technical_infodata/surveydata/2011.htm.\"

If you can figure that out, please drop me a line. All I got out of it was they basically called people on their cell phones.

I also got the idea they changed their method entirely meaning you can't compare this year's numbers to previous ones. So, does this mean Tennessee was never as fat as thought, or they're just saying there's brown, then there's light brown?

Interestingly enough, there were no excuses given why we're so fat, at least not in the report I saw. There was also no reference to the south being enormously fat (seven of the top 10 states were southern).

This has been a staple of these reports in the past: "Those beastly monsters in the south are dragging down the rest of us!" Colorado and Massachusetts groaned. "We only weigh 325 compared to their 375! Can't they just go ahead and secede?"

The best part about this report being released every year is when television news picks it up and runs video of enormously fat people from the chest down. I've always pictured somebody sitting in a chair, watching the news, munching a triple cheeseburger and saying, "Hey, you know what? I got some pants like that."

I know, enough of that. We've all got our problems. I, for instance, had to go up a pant size after the stupid manufacturers switched the labels in the 32 and 33-inch waists. That's the only reason I can think of that I can button one size and not the other.

But stop dwelling on the bad. The good news is Tennessee is no longer one of the top 10 fattest states! We should celebrate with a pizza.

michael.thomason@advocateanddemocrat.com | 442-4575